It struck me recently that I've been running my own business for over a year now. I mean, it's no donald trump/buy a hottub/retire at 26 type success shenanigans but it's pulling in more than it's costing and I'm still doing it so there's definitely some degree of succeeding going on.
It's so strange that I can't seem to live with a single authority for more than a few months but I have no problem happily serving new strangers every day. Maybe it's a perceived status type thing. While I do bow down for my customers, the interaction is still a business transaction between equals. A mutually beneficial and agreed upon trade. There is respect from both parties ( Of course there's the odd petulant customer that wants something for nothing but I've come to terms with the fact that these people simply exist everywhere and sprinkle the population with their general audacity ).
When I work under one person for too long, I observe them as a human being. I see their capabilities and their flaws and I almost always arrive at the conclusion that they're no better than me. Is this hubris? Or do I just have this flawed idea that a person I work under must be somehow 'more capable' as a human being than me? It's pretty strange when I look at it like that. I think my logic is messed up somewhere.
But then on the other hand this is working for me right now so I suppose I can put off self improvement and simply enjoy my life arrangement. I'm pretty sure the satisfaction of becoming a perfect person wouldn't be worth all the pleasure one would sacrifice to reach that point.
Things that make you go hm.
In other news I'm doing pretty well. I seem to be at a pretty stable daily routine, and that's always satisfying. The construction people FINALLY moved the no-parking signs to the other side so I can park by the house again. I know that sounds lame but it makes me pretty happy XD I'm happy to have finished a few new items for my store for once. I no longer feel like an automatic Toothless-producing robot and that helps. I'd like to make a few other new items too, simpler ones but still. I'll have to wait until inspiration strikes me to create another Midna-calibur item. Can't make something like that without a solid plan/sketch.
Still though. Kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop here. I'm finally learning to deal with life's little problems, so where's the invisible hand ready to turn up the difficulty? Or is it all just little problems?
I've had a few miserable summers in the past, and I've lamented about how summer used to be this carefree wonderful time when I was a little kid. This has been a really great summer, kind of like the ones I used to have. I can actually appreciate the sun and green around me. Taking a drive with the windows open and letting the breeze in feels great. It's a bit confusing. I know that the sun and green and breeze were always there. Why do I only feel them this year? What's different in me that wasn't there before?
I'm really actually okay, but I can't figure out why?
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