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Gatobob
Jo Techsmith
Artist | Professional | Artisan Crafts
Canada
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Rest your Bones

Journal Entry: Fri Sep 19, 2014, 10:39 AM



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I'm having a low day today ._. I'm tired. I've got a lot of long term projects going on and they're stalling out so I'm frustrated.

I've been watching my calories for about two months now and It's been pretty effective but the last 11 days, I haven't gotten anywhere or lost any weight despite my continued full dedication. I know stalling is normal but on top of the other stuff it's hurting my resolve.

I've also jumped into trying to work with resin to make plastic copies of my sculpts. I have grand plans of mastering more materials and making great stuff but I just can't seem to get anywhere with the resin. I've been trying for hours every day for days and I just keep making imperfect molds and resin with bubbles. I can't sell a single thing I've made yet. I've spent huge amounts of money and so much time and effort but so far I've gotten nothing out of it. 

I'm not so naive as to think that all hard work pays off right away but lately I've been feeling like I've been dutifully putting in work, time, and ingenuity and I'm just hitting brick walls every time I turn.

I know that the only thing I can do is keep at it until something gives and I finally get some success but that doesn't make the process any more pleasant. I've been sinking into a depressed feeling and it's getting hard to want to do my work or anything that I'm supposed to do. I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to work, I don't want to play video games, I don't even want to get out of bed. It's getting ridiculous, and it's really beginning to cause a lot of stress.

I want to feel better and get back to being myself, but I feel like some success in my efforts is the only thing that will get me there. I feel helpless since I'm doing all I can to succeed at what I'm working and getting nowhere anyway.

I wish I could run away from my life and time for a bit. Just hit pause and drift around doing anything and nothing until I'm ready to get back on the treadmill. I really can't waste any more time though. My malaise has already cost me a lot.

*sigh*

I've always been like this though. My mom told me stories of when I was a toddler, how I never threw tantrums- except for when I wanted to do something or make something and I became frustrated with my inability to do it. Then and to this day I straight up lose my shit when I can't seem to make my effort connect with tangible success.

But giving up isn't my thing either so I suppose I'll just have to grit my teeth and continue torturing myself until I get what I want. Because that is my way.


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Comments


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:iconnitefyredragon:
nitefyredragon Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the llama :)
Nice sculpts
Reply
:icongatobob:
Gatobob Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
No probs, thank you!
Reply
:iconshippertrish:
ShipperTrish Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014
Thanks for the :iconllamajumpplz:
Reply
:iconhigurashicries:
HigurashiCries Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I looked through your gallery + etsy and you are so talented! I love all of your stuff.
Reply
:icongatobob:
Gatobob Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
Awww, man thank you! That's really nice of you ^o^
Reply
:icongoldengriffiness:
GoldenGriffiness Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014
It's done. I'd really appreciate it if you don't mind giving it a look.
Reply
:icongoldengriffiness:
GoldenGriffiness Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
Can I ask for some paint advise? I'm making another Toothless sculpt (if your interested I have a pre-baked pik up), and am wondering how to do those really feint markings he has on his sides and wings, do you maybe have any advise?
Reply
:icongatobob:
Gatobob Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
Eh? I haven't really painted his sides much myself and I tend to leave out any wing markings, but for any faint stuff I just go for a slightly lighter black ( or a very dark grey I guess? ) and for scales I mix my black with shiny silver paint ( that's basically just microscopic glitter ).
Reply
:icongoldengriffiness:
GoldenGriffiness Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014
Cool, thanks. Mainly I've had problems getting them blend-y enough with the already laid down black
Reply
:iconkizzarina:
Kizzarina Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I need to stop looking at your gallery because my wish list keeps getting longer & longer, I'm going to be so broke when you open up for commissions again >.<
Reply
:icongatobob:
Gatobob Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
Haha well at least there's going to be a long long time until then. There's even a possibility I may never open commissions again.
Reply
:iconkizzarina:
Kizzarina Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Nooo say it's not so! Waaaah! 
Reply
:icongatobob:
Gatobob Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
Sorry ^^;

It's just that there's really nothing to gain for me. When I make what I want to make, people buy it anyway and pay up front. When I did commissions, I'd have to take time messaging with them back and forth ( many times messaging with people that would decide not to buy anything ) drawing up sketches, and setting up prices. This was all unpaid hours worked. On top of that, once in a while a customer would just leave me hanging and not pay for their commission once I made it. I still have a Jirachi pendant in my store from when someone commissioned me and didn't pay for it.
Reply
(2 Replies)
:icongoldengriffiness:
GoldenGriffiness Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014
I'm uploading a picture of a clay Toothless sculpture I made momentarily, could I maybe ask you to look at it and tell me what you think? I'd really value any advise you could give
Reply
:icongoldengriffiness:
GoldenGriffiness Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/New-How-to-…
Hey, this might help pinpoint where it's coming from, here's another copy that's supposedly from Hong Kong 
Reply
:icongatobob:
Gatobob Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
That makes sense. Thanks!
Reply
:icongoldengriffiness:
GoldenGriffiness Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
And they are ALSO mass producing. God. I'm giving contacting the seller a shot, maybe it'll either scare them or inform them if they don't know
Reply
:icongatobob:
Gatobob Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
Getting them to understand seems to be a waste of time. I've already received a reply from them.

"But we design the item from the picture that we search from google and yahoo,not copy your item. After we got picture online, our professional designer will design it according to the picture.

We  use stamping process to make it, but your item is 3D, our item is not 3D. But we don't know why our design is the same as yours."

Reply
(1 Reply)
:icongoldengriffiness:
GoldenGriffiness Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Dude, go check the amazon pages. According to one of my friends, we've "unleashed the hounds of hell." :D
Reply
:iconpwned31:
pwned31 Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014
I just noticed something about your username:
Gato-bob, gato=cat, so...

Bobcat?
Was this intended?!!
Reply
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