*dusts off journal*
I think it's a good time to update! I'm actually feeling remarkably level headed and my anxiety is really quite low! I think it's been getting better over the past week or two- even in spite of last week being the WEEEK FROM HEELLLLLLLLL I'll tell you about it XD Don't worry though it has a happy ending so just sit back with popcorn and get ready for some guilt-free schadenfreude.
Let's start at last Wednesday. I had a date with my sis-in-law to help her paint her living room and I ended up staying over to help build some ikea furniture. This is no big woop, but any social interaction [ especially with family ] tends to drain my batteries really fast so by the end of the day I was in sore need of recharging. I'd like to have chilled out alone for the next day but it wasn't in the cards! I had another engagement.
On Thursday I visited my parents for two reasons. One was that I hardly visit them any more and my mom was getting kinda sad and I won't stand for that, the other is that we needed a guarantor to sign some photos of us for new passports. So I visit and do more social things instead of recharging.
Dragging myself mentally along by threads, Friday unfortunately has a couple engagements as well. Alan and I have to go to the dreaded outside and hit up Canada Place to go get the passports. It's downtown and full of humans and I'm freaking a little but it really has to be done. The day ends with game night with our buddies which is usually 100% desired and awesome but I was somewhat tired for it and less present than I could have been. It was also tainted by the foreboding terrible sensation of knowing that just an hour previous-
The internet cut out completely.
We hoped it was just a blip, but after game night we checked and the internet remained non-functional. We contact our provider and nothing can be done immediately. They say it may be fixed overnight remotely.
I hold out hope that I can finally have a day to chill and hang with internet friends and recharge, but I awake to find no internet.
Saturday is a blur of checking the modem 10000X, trying to work on my comic, writhing on the floor, and watching the only two things I have pre-downloaded, the entire series of YuGiOh Duel Monsters, and REPO! The Genetic Opera. [ we don't have any TV, just netflix, which obviously will not work without internet ]
Sunday we hope in vain for a technician to come by. No one does. Psychosis begins to set in and without any supervision I begin to draw more...unsavoury things. My phone has run out of data completely and Alan's data is drying up. He lets me tether on his data for brief intervals to check messages, but I can't upload or surf.
Monday comes, now I'm in the house alone and I've finished YuGiOh. I've watched Repo like four times. I'm drawing some seriously messed up stuff. My frustration is reaching a fever pitch. I'm acutely aware of how much stuff I use the internet for. I go grocery shopping with a paper grocery list like a savage. I'm basically frothing because during my quick tethering message checking I see my friends streaming ART OF MANY OF MY FAVOURITE SUBJECTS [ watching streams is like...my #1 favourite pastime right now ]
NOT TO MENTION NO PORN. NONE. FOR THREE DAYS.
Anyway, Tuesday rolls around, I'm a husk with beady black coal eyes. I casually sketch some sort of weird slave/chains/yugioh trash art thing. THE DOORBELL RINGS. IT'S JESUS. Or some guy, I don't know, but he says "I just wanted to check if your internet was working" I yank him into the house and run to the modem. Four green lights. Joy courses through me and I begin to glow. The guy is still waiting so I go back out and tell him it's working but I CAN'T HEAR OVER THE ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLOS AND THUNDER SURROUNDING ME.
I fire up the glowing soothing glow of the internet, throw a giant pile of crap onto tumblr, post a vaguely appropriate version of a medium-bad pic on DA, and proceed to stream my stupid face off until 2AM.
And now it's Wednesday again and I'm strangely okay. Everything's back to normal and I can get on with my life.
Now let's get back to this comic.
Oh and fair warning that trashy yugioh pic is coming to DA I'm working way too hard on the details for it not to so I apologize in a advance for it.
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